Struggle and Strive

Last night, I made a phone call to my parents back in China. It has been two weeks since our last quarrel over the phone. The guilt and depression still occupy my mind and spread over through my trembling voice.

The quarrel started when I tried to communicate with them about my future plan. I approached them with hope to have them giving advice to for my decision about my next two years in the college. I have been puzzled and hesitated for a long time about making the final decision from numerous options: exchange or internship, further study or work. I personally want to go for exchange which would surely be a lot of fun and a memorable time in my university life. For my path after graduation, I am vague about what fields and areas I should pick up for further study on a master degree. However, it somehow contradicts to my parents’ expectation from me. They are not intrigued by the idea of spending half a year exposing to a totally different life style. It is just some optional and luxurious entertainment for university life. They prefer me to taking an internship instead in order to gain some working experience for finding a job after graduation. They are really pragmatic in planning my life. Internship, graduation with honors, master degree in financial industry and find a job in an investment bank, they have paved my life path for even next ten years. They seem to know my future better than me. I am not that mad about their planning and I surely understand their intention since I have ever tried to motivate myself along this path. However, it does not trigger the passion inside me and make me feel the happiness and satisfaction as much as I expect. The tricking thing is that I have no idea what I enjoy doing and what I am passionate about. It makes me depressed when my parents convince me to follow their advice.

I try to defuse this dilemma by following the first step in their plan which is to take an internship as what they advised. I try to treat it as a chance for me to get different exposures. Therefore I can judge from my experience to conclude whether this career path suits me a lot. It is surely beneficial but I have to sacrifice the chance of immersing in a foreign culture. To make this up, I will try to spend my vocational time on short-term overseas programs and trips. I will try to convince my parents that I will be responsible for my own choice and I will not regret for any decision I am making now. There is no reason for me to bother myself with something I am not fully controlling. Even though I am still vague about what is coming around, I am pretty sure it would turn up to be something surprising only I am embarking on it.

I am sure it is pretty common for you to have similar experience or struggles. I confess it would be great luck for you if you know what you are passionate about. Then it is just a question about how to achieve it. But unfortunately, I am not one of them and probably I have to spend the rest of my lifetime to seek for it. Therefore I am curious about you, my readers, do you have anything that you are passionate about and willing to work as a career? Furthermore, what do you really value at current life stage, happiness or satisfaction gained from overperforming your peers? To elaborate the latter question, I mean we are mostly motivated by the peer pressure instead of our own interest and agenda. We are forcing to strive for something which is honored and valued by the public and we are evaluating and judging ourselves with external criteria like success in career and social status. Is it really what you want and mark for your life? I just doubt and hope to hear from your behalf.

Highlights of Effective Communication

On 23^rd August of this year which is just a week ago, a tourist bus was hijacked by a former Philippine officer with 15 Hong Kong tourists as hostages. Philippine police started their rescue plan after being reported of this crime. During the process, the police made unforgivable mistakes in communicating with the hijacker which led to a catastrophic result of eight casualties of the hostages in a coup led by the SWAT (Special Weapons and Tactics) force. The whole world was stunned and the public of Hong Kong and mainland of China were furious about the daft decision made by Philippine police during the rescuing. After the incident, experts commented on the communication mistakes made by the police. One of the points is the lack of you attitude of the Philippine police like refusing of the hijacker’s request in the first place which leaves no room for further negotiation. This miserable tragedy highlights the importance of effective communication with a cost of eight lives.

Maybe we are far away from any tragedy like that, but it does not depreciate the significance of communication in our daily life. From my personal understanding, effective communication delivers two messages as how the phrase is composed. Communication functions as the channels and methods for people to obtain information and convey ideas to surrounding people. If we put the exchange of information at the base level of the communication pyramid, the enhancing of interpersonal relationship comes to a higher hierarchy which includes building of friendship and partnership, enhancing neutral trust and expressing personal emotions. This is sometimes regarded as the leaping step for human beings to evolve from our ancestral apes. The second messages will focus on the ‘effective’ part. Only knowing the importance of communication is not enough to conduct a successful one. With the facilitation of relevant skills and following guidelines, people are able to achieve the desired effect and respond from their communication. The skills guarantee the messages and information will be delivered to the targeting audience clearly and concisely. Furthermore, it enlarges the possibility for persuading the clients and ensures their acceptance of the messages. Last but not least, the friendly and professional impression will be marked on the audiences by effective communication. Your words represent you.

Taking myself as example, the effective communication provides numerous benefits in my dealing with peer classmates, professors, school office staffs, and also friends home and abroad. It saves a lot of trouble and avoids any misunderstanding due to my poor communication. It also aids to resolve personal conflicts especially with my parents. The generation gap and different contexts between Singapore and China builds up the obstacle for mutual understanding and effective communication. What is the conflict about and how does it pop up? How will affect my relation with my family and how will it be resolved? If you love to dig it up, please keep your eyes on my update for next blog entry.